A Mouse in the House

I walked into my closet last week
dressed in naught but socks and underwear
I bent over to pick up my boots
Surprise– a furry creature was there

So I yelped and jumped back a few steps
I’ll say he nearly scared me to death
I flung my right work boot at him
after I had finally caught my breath

Well I missed him by a country mile
and he quickly scampered out the door
That’s when I took aim with my left boot
it thumped and skidded across the floor

I chased it round and round the kitchen
by now I’d armed myself with a broom
I swiped at it Wayne Gretsky style
sent it flying to the dining room

By now the dog had joined in the chase
we were set to show this mouse his tomb
When he ran into my wife’s office
while she was in a meeting on Zoom

Somehow I managed a screeching halt
No view of my boxers or the mouse
But my angry wife has banished me
from playing mouse hockey in the house

As for the mouse I have not a clue
just where he disappeared to that day
I hope he went home and told his kids
it was too crazy for him to stay

~ A Rancher’s Wife…

She’s up in the morning
two hours before dawn
has done most of her chores
before the lights come on

Already milked the cows
and gathered up the eggs
even put liniment
on the horse’s sore legs

Bacon and eggs are cooked
the biscuits are baked brown
the gravy has been stirred
and the plates laid down

Once the pans are empty
the last bread’s been buttered
the men tack their horses
while she clears the clutter

Now a fifty mile drive
just to get to the store
to pick up the supplies
they have been waiting for

Time to fry the chicken
and put beef in the beans
cause stomachs on the ranch
are never full it seems

After serving the meal
and cleaning up the mess
she’ll ride out to the range
and work beside the rest

She has to be able
to ride fence, rope and brand
just as good as any
of those other hired hands

When the day is over
tired and hungry as hell
the men wash up and get
set for the supper bell

She’ll be in the kitchen
cooking vittles again
Cause work for a ranch wife
never comes to an end

~ Hey Boomers ~

What will we do now that we’ve reached Gen Z
will we have to do like hurricanes do
give them names like Alpha, Beta and Gamma
or perhaps just Roman Numeral I and II

Shall we call the new babies Gen Trump
or perhaps Gen Pandemic or Gen Covid
or do we just let them live out their lives
like long ago generations did

You see, I don’t recall Gen Caveman
or Gen Industrial Age
and they seemed to have made it just fine
without the help of some superfluous adage

I wonder why we started naming ourselves
are the children so ashamed of their parents
perhaps afraid they won’t be able to overcome
the terms of their inheritance

~ I’ll Rest Here a Spell…

While I was riding across the sagebrush
I happened upon this soft running creek
My face and neck were burning just a bit
my stomach was getting a little weak

Seemed like a decent place to rest a spell
and from my mare I jumped down to the ground
I pulled the saddle from Jilly Gal’s back
so she could take a drink and graze around

I wet my bandanna in the water
it was as cool as the mountains in snow
So I shucked off my dusty cowboy boots
and let that water run across my toes

While sitting there I started a thinking
when was the last time a bath I had seen
So I stripped right on down to my long john’s
and I decided I would plunge right in

Now my old bones are feeling much better
as I spread across the grass in the sun
If ever a time I’ve been happier
I am not sure I can come up with one

Do your dance across the rocks you ripples
and gurgle for me a jolly old tune
I’m pretty darn sure I won’t be riding
away from this spot anytime too soon

~ Another Fine Meal…

Go to Massachusetts for its chowder
In Maryland you’ll find tasty crab cakes
Texas has their famous beef brisket rub
KC says it’s good BBQ they make

Head to Maine to dine on some lobster
Florida’s Coconut Shrimp is best
Montana cooks some fine mountain oysters
Colorado’s lambchops top off the west

Eat some deep-fried pickles in Arkansas
or California’s avocado toast
Crisp Fries with vinegar in Delaware
Y’all, it’s them boiled peanuts that Georgia boasts

Hot pork tenderloins of Indiana
Hawaiian shaved ice, Beignets of La,
Wyoming’s Fry bread, Illinois’ Deep Dish,
Michigan Pasty, Cheesesteak from Pa

You can travel around America
even a few countries across the sea
Anything you’ll find has yet to compare
to my wife’s fried chicken and mac-n-cheese