The 10 Don’ts of Facebooking

You don’t have to agree with me, I guess that’s ok. Some people just like being wrong all the time. That’s the beauty of Facebook.

  1. Never post anything you don’t want your employer, potential employer, mother or father to see. Your cleavage may be nice, but…
  2. Duck face selfies make you look like a duck… that’s why we call it that. I don’t know anyone who thinks ducks are sexy. I mean, Donald duck never even wore pants and he still couldn’t get Daisy to kiss him. Duck face selfies are annoying
  3. Just because you are in a group does not mean I want to be in that group. I’m sure there are hundreds of people who want to join a group to save field mice from committing suicide, but never add me without my permission. It is annoying
  4. Don’t tag me in photos that I am not actually in. It makes me wonder where I went after that third beer last night and…it’s annoying.
  5. God is not going to give me money just because I share a picture of a bunch of dollar bills. I don’t think there is any one in the world who believes it. That means you are just being Annoying.
  6. Also, I will not die if I don’t send some letter to 25 of my friends. I might kick the bucket, but I will guarantee it will be from a thousand other reasons. Again, you are just being Annoying.
  7. Stop inviting people to play games. If they are your friend, you should know who plays them and who doesn’t. Quit being ANNOYING. (Are we seeing a pattern here?)
  8. We don’t need to know every time you have to go pee or fart. There is such a thing as too much information.
  9. Side note… you probably should not post that you are going on vacation without telling everyone that your house is being guarded by your axe wielding neighbors. (By the way, my house will be guarded by my sword wielding son.)
  10. Never solicit sex, call people names, bully, harass or cuss someone out on Facebook. You do know that when people read it they just think that you are being a huge ‘asshat’.
  11. Everyone knows that I am a ‘comment’ Junkie and Love getting those likes, reactions and emoji’s. But I try to leave something for them to comment on. Posting stuff like, “I’m done with it all” is not a post. I bet you can guess what it is though…ANNOYING!!!

Of course, I want everyone to like my page and become my friend, but only if you really want to like me. Not just because you want to have more friends than your sister so you can rub it in her face and say, (HAHA! Mom may have liked you best but the world likes me better. So take that you snot nosed little brat…) I’m sorry, that could be what some people might say…Really though, I’ve been trying to think of a reason why anyone wouldn’t like me. I’m cuddly.

34 thoughts on “The 10 Don’ts of Facebooking

  1. Thanks Gina, I’m glad you like it. My wife is a Facebook game-a-holic and she has never once sent me a request to play any game. Come to think of it she has never asked me to play any games…OMGWTFBFOWPDQTQBFJOTLD!!!!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. All that, and more! I have a FB friend who is constantly posting pictures of herself when she was much younger (she’s in her sixties, the pictures are probably from when she was in her twenties). I’m sure she does it to get all the comments about how pretty she was, but I find it so sad… and annoying.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. If only everyone who used Facebook followed your advice! And I would add one more rule: don’t post snarky political memes, over and over and over. We all figured out which candidate/politician/party you hate from the first one, and we don’t need to see the endless repetitions. It’s annoying! Thanks for this post….

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Davy D

    Jerry, I thought we were becoming friends. I take it you don’t like my Farcebook page. I appreciate you may have not liked my field mice and suicide group but would you like to join my ducks in toilets around the world group instead. Seriously though Jerry thank you for putting a smile on my face. Loved the post.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. pippipoetry

    I just closed down my Fb the other day because of all the superficial stuff I kept seeing, and your post just summed it up for me. Wonderful and got me laughing. thank you. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. And you know they all read each others comments. Heaven help you if you wish great aunt Alice on your mother’s side happy birthday and told the neighbor boy, Happy Birthday and have a good one. You’ll hear “So you like him better than you like me” for the next year.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. That is hilarious. And so true. I can add one thing that really annoys me. When people announce they are cleaning out their friends’ list and if you don’t respond they will dump you. Hellfire, if the have to threaten people to get them to comment, they need to rethink their page! LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

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