So here’s the thing guys. Everybody knows by now that I’m an old geezer. I don’t try to hide it, in fact I use it to my advantage the best I can. But, I also have arthritis in my hands pretty bad along with several other afflictions that we won’t go into today. So I take what seems to be a semi-truck full of medications. Like all Americans, I have to purchase them at the cheapest place possible. That means Costco Home Delivery (your welcome Costco for the free publicity). My apologies to the local pharmacies but evil insurance makes me do it.
So where was I…oh yeah?
Because I buy my drugs online, they gave me the option to order them with regular screw on lids. Of course, being old and feeble, I chose yes. I assumed they realized that because I had arthritis it would be difficult for me to open the childproof lids. So I thanked them for their concern and left the website thinking how considerate they were for thinking of my well-being.
Well, my package arrived a few days later. A plastic bag sealed up tighter than an armored tank. After a search through various junk drawers to find a pair of scissors I managed to finally get the contents dumped onto the table. It appears that in the world of online medication the motto is, “why use one bottle when you can use three instead?” Yes, three bottles for every prescription and each one neatly sealed with a childproof cap. My immediate thought was that I had made an error in the ordering process. I’m old and that’s what happens to me a lot. But then, lo and behold, underneath the whole thing was another plastic bag filled with my screw on lids.
What am I to do I wondered. Then the answer hit me. I would enlist the help of the one person that I was sure could remove the caps with ease. So I asked the neighbors 5 year old daughter to give me a helping hand. Remember folks, if you have childproof caps, you better have a child around to get them open.
Pill bottle, pickle jars, vacuum packs …it’s getting harder and harder…need to a hire a child for sure.
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Perhaps a new profession is born…official jar opener. Like Uber, but for jars instead of cars.
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Ha ha ha – love it!
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Hi Jerry,
Thanks for the follow and as one aging blogger to another, isn’t this a great way to spend your time, playing with words and whinging about the various afflictions we have. Arthritis is getting to my hands as well along with a multitude of other complaints. I do have sympathy for you though having to deal with your medical system. Take care.
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Thanks Michael, it is a pleasure to read your blog and thanks to you for the follow.
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Trust me, they are an old woman’s nightmare as well! Luckily, I have a grandson who will soon be old enough (he’s just a toddler now) to open them for me.
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Brilliant solution
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Sometimes, if there are no children around, a good hammer will work well.
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Oh I hear your struggles and I have rheumatoid arthritis. The basic. Can become a huge challenge some days, so know you are not alone out there.
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I don’t recommend throwing them against the wall to open them. It doesn’t end well.
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Haha thanks my friend. I will try and remember this the next time. Have a great day.
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Or ask the pharmacy to give you the non-childproof caps?
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what! no
power tools? 🙂
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My wife say’s that I might cut my finger off.
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