Now my brother Harley once did a little time in the United States Army quite a few years ago now. Now mind you he weren’t no officer or nothing fancy. Just something he always called a grunt. I always thought it was pretty peculiar that the Army would have a whole mess of folks running around with rifles in their hands to just grunt at each other. But Harley seemed to get along just fine with it. Course he weren’t in no wars or nothing. But still, he must have been pretty good at it cause he came home with these patches on his sleeves. They looked like tents sitting on rocking chair legs.

So anyhow, to make a long story short so to speak, it seems that Harley and some of his fellow grunters was out doing something he called night training. Now don’t that beat all, must have been some pretty dumb ass folks to not know the difference twixt night and day. But who am I to judge how other folks was brought up.

So there they was, Harley said, just crawling through some trees when they came upon this here farmer who was talking with some other soldiers about getting his horse unstuck from a big puddle of  nasty gumbo mud. You know how that black gumbo can get all sticky like and slick as snot. So these fellas, Harley said they was officers from some railroad place evidently must have been near about. Said these engineers talked with this man near and hour trying to figure out the best way to get this wagon unstuck. They even got out some papers and was drawing up plans and talking about bringing in trucks and pullys and chains.

Harley and this here farmer was just shaking their heads and trying their best to hold back the snickering. Cause Harley said that was a good way to get yourself busted when you go snickering at officers.

Well, I don’t want to bore you with all the details but suffice it to say that Harley and his buddies finally had enough. Harley said that they had already missed chow (that’s an Army way of saying vittalls) and they didn’t want to miss their sack time (another Army term for going to bed) too. Blamed if I don’t understand why folks in the Army can’t speak plain ole American. So anyway, Harley and his buddies just goes out and while he holds on to that ole mules neck his buddies latch on to the wheels and in two shakes of a rabbits rear end, they got that thing onto dry land.

So kids, my moral of this story is… if you find yourself bogged down in the mud then get your head out of your ass and push.

Til next time friends…