Dumb Joke – The DNA Test…

After 3 years, a wife starts to think that their child doesn’t look like any of them, so she decides to have a DNA test done.
She gets the results back and finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents.
She tells her husband, “Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.”
“What’s wrong,” he asks?
“Well according to these DNA test results, Peter is not our child.”
“Well sure,” he said. “Don’t you remember? When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had a wet diaper and you told me to go change the baby.”

Author Unknown

A Dirty Dumb Joke – A Boy and a Squirrel…

A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other.
“Now listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature, I’ll personally do to you”
“In that case,” said the boy, “I’ll kiss it’s ass and let it go free.”


Author Unknown.

Dumb Joke – Marriage Made in Heaven…

On their way to get married a young, Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder if they could still get married in Heaven? So when St. Peter arrived they asked him.
St. Peter said, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out.” So he left and the couple sat and waited for an answer.
After a couple of months of waiting they discussed the pros and cons of marriage. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? What if it doesn’t work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?
Another month passed and St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat worse for the wear.
“Yes,” he informed the couple, “You can get married in Heaven.”
“Great!” said the couple. “But we were just wondering; what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground. “OH, COME ON!!!”
“What’s wrong?” asked the frightened couple.
St. Peter shouted. “It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it’ll take to find a lawyer?”

Author Unknown