A Bad and Dirty Joke – The Delivery man…

Wee Willie was walking past his parents’ bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Wee Willie exclaims “Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?”
Well Daddy, being a little relieved that Willie’s not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Willie hops on and Daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon Mommy starts moaning and gasping.
Willie cries out “Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the delivery guy usually get bucked off!”

Author Unknown

Dumb Joke… Why Can’t I fly…

Deep within the forest alongside a babbling brook, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground below. After recovering from his daze, he slowly climbed to the top branch of the tree again, jumped off and flapping his front legs desperately, fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.

Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “Don’t you think it’s time we tell him he’s adopted?”

Author Unknown

Dumb Joke – My daughter has learned to count.

Yesterday, we took our daughter to a friend’s house to attend their son’s 5th birthday party. We were exhausted when we got home so she went right to bed and I fell asleep watching the ball game. At about 11:50 last night I felt a tug on my sleeve.
“Daddy,” she whispered. “Guess how old I’m going to be next month.”
“I don’t know, beauty,” I said as I slipped on my glasses. “How old?”
She smiled and held up four fingers.
It is 7:30 now.
My wife and I have been up with her for almost 8 hours.
She still refuses to tell us where she got them.

Author Unknown

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