Childproof caps…safety or just an old man’s nightmare.

So here’s the thing guys. Everybody knows by now that I’m an old geezer. I don’t try to hide it, in fact I use it to my advantage the best I can. But, I also have arthritis in my hands pretty bad along with several other afflictions that we won’t go into today. So I take what seems to be a semi-truck full of medications. Like all Americans, I have to purchase them at the cheapest place possible. That means Costco Home Delivery (your welcome Costco for the free publicity). My apologies to the local pharmacies but evil insurance makes me do it.

So where was I…oh yeah?

Because I buy my drugs online, they gave me the option to order them with regular screw on lids. Of course, being old and feeble, I chose yes. I assumed they realized that because I had arthritis it would be difficult for me to open the childproof lids. So I thanked them for their concern and left the website thinking how considerate they were for thinking of my well-being.

Well, my package arrived a few days later. A plastic bag sealed up tighter than an armored tank. After a search through various junk drawers to find a pair of scissors I managed to finally get the contents dumped onto the table. It appears that in the world of online medication the motto is, “why use one bottle when you can use three instead?” Yes, three bottles for every prescription and each one neatly sealed with a childproof cap. My immediate thought was that I had made an error in the ordering process. I’m old and that’s what happens to me a lot. But then, lo and behold, underneath the whole thing was another plastic bag filled with my screw on lids.

What am I to do I wondered. Then the answer hit me. I would enlist the help of the one person that I was sure could remove the caps with ease. So I asked the neighbors 5 year old daughter to give me a helping hand. Remember folks, if you have childproof caps, you better have a child around to get them open.

“You ain’t never gonna get it lest you ask for it.” — Aunt Sadie’s Ponderings

Aunt Sadie - Don't AskSo you ain’t never going to get that raise or promotion at work, new shotgun or even a kiss from ole aunt Sadie unless you ask for it first. People ain’t mind readers so you got to let them know. But just make sure that what you’re asking for is what you really want. Most nearly everything comes with some sort of consequence. A raise might be nice to help pay for a few more hot dogs, but they usually come with a lot more responsibility. Same with that promotion, it’s going to means less time for fishing. A new shotgun means you got to work longer hours to pay for it and the gift you better get your wife.

Remember folks, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, because more than likely their septic tank is all backed up. Don’t forget about that kiss, it has consequences too. You might not ever go back to fishing.

Till next time,

Aunt Sadie

Aunt Sadie’s Ponderings

 

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I understand that back in the 50’s when I was but a child, all we had to worry about in school was “Run Jane run.” and did 1+1=2.  By the time we’d finished school, most of us had already been working for a couple years and credit cards were practically non-existent. So we had to take life in little bites or we never got the chance to eat at all.

Yet, in this modern fast paced society we’ve let ‘instant gratification’ become the mantra for, not just the young generation, but for even us old fogies. It seems our attention spans are becoming increasingly shorter as technology pushes us farther into the future.  We’re constantly being bombarded by hundreds of minuscule texts on our phones. The newsfeed on our social media sites like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram fly by us with the speed of light. Hell, most people have already given up on this post and moved on to something else because it’s too long.

I saw a television commercial the other day that told me “I want it all and I want it now.” So it’s little wonder that in the store the other day a mother was telling her 5 year old that she couldn’t have a toy because she didn’t have enough money. The child replied, “You can just put it on a credit card.” These are the lessons we’re teaching our children.

Seriously folks, as you travel through life things like getting married, having kids, buying a new car and a house is a mouthful to have to chew all at once. So let’s not try to cram it in all at once’ just heed ole Aunt Sadie’s advice and take the time to savor the taste of each bite a little before you have to swallow.

 

 

 

 

Your Daily Fortune Cookie 2/1/2019

“Things will come to those who wait”

Unfortunately, it will only be the leftovers from those who hustled. You know all the clichés. The early bird gets the worm; first to table gets the hottest food or first come first served. My personal favorite, #1 is always the winner and #2 is just another loser. I think Warren Buffet probably summed it up best in his philosophy for investing. “Always go with the original”. I can’t tell you how many products I’ve seen in my lifetime and said, “Man, I thought of that years ago.” But while I was just thinking about it, someone else was doing something about it. So whatever it is you’re dreaming of… be the first to act.