Aunt Sadie’s Ponderings – “To arrive early is a virtue. To get there late… is just plain bad manners.”

Now I know that sometimes you hear them high falootin uppity society folks talkin about being ‘Fashionably Late’. That’s cause their wanting to make some kind of grand entrance to show everybody that they got more money than Carter has pills.  But here in the real world if your fixen to have a hoedown at 6:00 then that means the festivities are starting at 6. So decent people know to start showing up between 5:30 and 5:45 depending on how well you know the hostess or host. Because most folks I know aint got no cooks or maids or butlers and it’s just common courtesy to help folks get set up.

And you sure blamed don’t want to be like Janet Hopkins that time when she was going to be fashionably late to Doris Brown’s 70th birthday. So she showed up at the house about a half hour late and she ended up sitting outside with the young’ens with nothing to eat except her own dried out casserole. That woman never did learn how to cook. I swear she couldn’t even boil water and end up with anything wet left in the pan. I think her problem is she just gets too scatter brained and tends to ramble on instead of taking care of the business at hand.

So anyway, to make a long story short, make sure you get to a place on time. And if you’re going to a pot luck type of shindig, have your stuff fixed up and ready to eat before you get there. Nobody wants to wait while you boil your eggs to make your so called famous deviled eggs.

Til next time my friends…

Aunt Sadie’s Ponderings – “If your mule gets stuck in the mud, no amount of talking is going to get him out.”

Now my brother Harley once did a little time in the United States Army quite a few years ago now. Now mind you he weren’t no officer or nothing fancy. Just something he always called a grunt. I always thought it was pretty peculiar that the Army would have a whole mess of folks running around with rifles in their hands to just grunt at each other. But Harley seemed to get along just fine with it. Course he weren’t in no wars or nothing. But still, he must have been pretty good at it cause he came home with these patches on his sleeves. They looked like tents sitting on rocking chair legs.

So anyhow, to make a long story short so to speak, it seems that Harley and some of his fellow grunters was out doing something he called night training. Now don’t that beat all, must have been some pretty dumb ass folks to not know the difference twixt night and day. But who am I to judge how other folks was brought up.

So there they was, Harley said, just crawling through some trees when they came upon this here farmer who was talking with some other soldiers about getting his horse unstuck from a big puddle of  nasty gumbo mud. You know how that black gumbo can get all sticky like and slick as snot. So these fellas, Harley said they was officers from some railroad place evidently must have been near about. Said these engineers talked with this man near and hour trying to figure out the best way to get this wagon unstuck. They even got out some papers and was drawing up plans and talking about bringing in trucks and pullys and chains.

Harley and this here farmer was just shaking their heads and trying their best to hold back the snickering. Cause Harley said that was a good way to get yourself busted when you go snickering at officers.

Well, I don’t want to bore you with all the details but suffice it to say that Harley and his buddies finally had enough. Harley said that they had already missed chow (that’s an Army way of saying vittalls) and they didn’t want to miss their sack time (another Army term for going to bed) too. Blamed if I don’t understand why folks in the Army can’t speak plain ole American. So anyway, Harley and his buddies just goes out and while he holds on to that ole mules neck his buddies latch on to the wheels and in two shakes of a rabbits rear end, they got that thing onto dry land.

So kids, my moral of this story is… if you find yourself bogged down in the mud then get your head out of your ass and push.

Til next time friends…

We all use each other…

Karen is from Illinois. She followed the American dream west to make her future. In Peoria, she was beautiful, young and tan and everybody knew she would be a star. But now her empty stomach reminds her that home was a lifetime ago.

Karen spends her days on casting couches and nights trying to stand out against the crowd of young and tan Midwestern girls.

Billy lives in a mansion on the hill. He has money and connections. Karen gives Billy everything he dreams of. Billy gives Karen enough cash for a burger and another day’s chance of being discovered.

Aunt Sadie’s Ponderings – Watering the past won’t grow the future…


Image by www.pixabay.com/users/2137279 TREVOR BARLOW

Now mind you, I’ve been known to mosey on down memory lane a time or two my own self. Particularly when I begin to feel my age and start thinking about them that is no longer with us. I think that’s just fine cause we all need to remember where we come from in order to keep us on the road. So long as we as we keep heading the right way.

What I’m saying is there’s some folks that never seem to move forward. It’s like their stuck at the crossroads and couldn’t figure out which way to go so they just hunkered down right there.

There was a boy back in high school that was a good friend of mine. Boy and howdy doo was he a good looker and had arms as big as an ox’s leg. He had this chiseled jaw and I’m telling you, he could charm the socks right off your feet. You know the type, Quarterback on the football team, star pitcher in baseball and he was even a descent basketball player. Shooeey he was sure something else and not a one of us girls wasn’t hankering for a drive in movie with him. He ended up getting this fancy scholarship to go play football back east somewhere. Man was he uppity doo dah after that? Like he was too good for us small town girls.

Well, the summer before he left, him, David Rothman and Glenn Jenkins was out doing things that teenage boys aught not be doing and they ended the night with their 57 upside down in Bill Culvers drainage ditch. They all lived to tell about it, probably cause they was too blamed full of Jim Smith’s green beer that he brewed in the back of his hay barn. Exceptin Marvin tore the Hades out of his shoulder. Well weren’t no school gonna let him play after that.

So to make a long story short, Marvin just kind of gave up after that night. Now he works over at Carrington’s Sporting Goods and tells the stories about the ‘good ole days’ to anybody who’d listen. He spends his nights down at Pappy’s bar doing pretty much the same thing only with a Jim Beam and coke in his hand. Course, we aint never won no championship ever since that season 40 some ought years ago.

I tell you what though, talk about a pure waste of a hunk of a man. Cause now, instead of arms like an ox, he’s got a belly that looks more like a cow’s milk sac hanging over his belt buckle…sorry folk. I think I got stuck on one of those strolls that had me winding down the past for a second.

So anyways, to sum it all up, sometimes bad things happen and there aint a dab blame thing we can do about it. Except just let the past stay in the past and move on to something else.

Till next time my friends…

Aunt Sadie’s Ponderings – A Word to the Wise…

Now ya’ll bare with me for a bit while I get serious about something. I don’t know how much your mommas has told you bout the birds and the bees and it aint none of my business. But I’ve been seeing way too much on the Google, the You Tube, the Facebook and such. Where all them girls prance around in front of everybody in nothing but their underwear. A doing something called the Twerk or what have ya.

Now, I aint no prude or anything like that there, cause I was young once myself. My Momma told us that dancing meant your hand on his shoulder and his just above your waist. Well I can tell you that Momma never heard of the twist or boogie woogie.

But even I gotta say that there comes a time when things goes a little too far. I know what yer fixen to say, “It’s my body and I can walk around in my underwear and pretending to have sex while singing any cuss words I want and no person should be having lewd thoughts.”

Well girlies, I’m here to tell you that that’s a bunch of horse shit on your morning toast. In real life, if’n you show everybody that you’re a bad girl then you’re going to be treated like a bad girl. If a guy was to walk around with his wooty hoos all a hangin out, they’d more n likely be arrested. Or molested. Let me tell you ladies, that what’s good for the goose should also be good for the gander.

Anyway, to make another long story short, you know what they say. Beauty is skin deep but bad runs clear down to the bone. And once you get a way of thinking stuck in a person’s head about you being a bad girl, aint no amount of persuading is going to change people’s minds.

Til next time friends…